honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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