I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
