I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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