called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Do you remember whose house we're in?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
