dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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