the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
