Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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