Whod you bang
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
