Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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