My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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