we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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