I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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