last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
