what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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