We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
