and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
