Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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