I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
