I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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