I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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