Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My pussy is not your playground.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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