He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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