It's Friday. Sex?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
