Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
