I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
