Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
