i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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