What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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