Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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