i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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