I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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