I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
