PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
