Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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