I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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