We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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