At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
there is glitter all over my balls
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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