hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
