we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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