i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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