"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
