He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
