you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
