Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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