BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize