if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i think i have two assholes
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
