Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
