The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
