what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
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She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
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Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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