toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
