k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
