I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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