She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize