Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
