If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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