We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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