does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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