the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
