so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Is it because I queefed?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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