Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
