Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
