Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Oh god it's open bar.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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